The Crayon’s

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Before I became a parent, crayons were on a mental pedestal.

Now, I am not saying that I loved crayons. I am saying in my mind I appreciated them a heckuva lot more than most. You always pick something before you have kids to call your soap box and mine was crayons.

“How wasteful to just throw a crayon away.”

“Not my kid. I won’t be throwing their crayons away……IF I ever have one.”

Lots of people do this before they have kids; they pick a ridiculous parenting flaw out that they aren’t going to mimic. Crazy as this may sound, everyone has one and in most cases they keep it to themselves.

Its a way of holding back on the system and mine was just crayons. I wasn’t going to throw crayons away. I was going to save even the broken ends. Hey, have you been on Pinterest!?!? Apparently, you can melt those suckers down and create heart shaped crayons! You can also use your iron and make spectacular fall leaf decorations, for your windows,that your friends and neighbors WILL BE JEALOUS ABOUT!  The world of broken and run down crayons is a fun filled universe of leprechauns and chubby little unicorns hopping over rainbows and burying their chocolate covered gold.

Look at me, I consider myself somewhat frugal. I sharpen my color pencils down to the nub, until I just can’t physically draw with them anymore and then I plop them in an extender and draw some more. I look at it like a challenge every time I get a pencil close to a centimeter in length. So,why not save all the crayons too? Sanity, folks. SANITY!

My mental state is why. I still remember the conflict in my head when I threw that first crayon away. I had been sweeping the floor and spotted a broken crayon, for the millionth time, just sitting there. I stared at the crayon and it stared back at me. I wanted to put it back in my sons room, but the monkey on my shoulder told me to chuck it right in the garbage.

“Throw the crayon away!  It’s one less crayon you have to worry about picking up. One less crayon that he will use to try and color on the walls or furniture with. You’re saving yourself. The crayon is what’s left of crazy street and you’re just a few inches away from making a turn on insanity lane. JUST LET IT GO!”

So I did it. I picked up that cerulean blue crayon off the floor and delivered it to the trash. I threw the last non-parenting stand I had in the garbage and it felt good.

Now, I am a pro. I have perfected the art of crayon disposal and have become the Sheriff of the Crayon jail. My hands are the jail cell, bail is “picking all of your stuff up,” and the trash can is the prison. If the toys aren’t picked up, the crayons earn a life long sentence in prison.

Now, you maybe asking yourselves, “WHY! Why would this lady keep on buying crayons if she hates them so much and is just going to throw them away?” Well, every once and a great while when I do buy new crayons for my son, I have a vision; a vision, that he is going to create beautiful drawings of knights and dragons, doodle for hours on end, and capture his imagination SILENTLY on paper. It’s a fool’s dream, but one can hope. And, until that day does happen, I am going to keep throwing those wax coloring tools away.


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